He's My Friend...He's My Brother

Last weekend, Agape volunteer Gary G. attended the celebration of life for one of the patients he supported for eight months.  His patient Frank* actually passed away in May. Not long before his death, Frank’s hospice nurse, Mary, asked him how his volunteer visits were going with Gary.  Frank was quick to respond, “Gary is not my volunteer any longer—he’s my friend.” I love that sentiment. Every weekend, Gary would drive from Centennial to Longmont to visit, not his patient, but his friend.  

When Frank died, his son communicated to us that the service was for immediate family...and Gary. The family held a celebration of life last weekend, and Gary was included. 

This happens with Gary time after time, as with Ed*, another of his patients. Ed had a son, and sometimes he wasn’t quite sure who was visiting – his biological son or “brother Gary.” Gary and the family rolled with it. Ed knew he had special people who came to visit on a regular basis. When Ed died, Gary was invited to this service, too.  He was at the funeral home and the graveside where Ed was interred with full military honors. 

Gary pays tribute to others. Yet what a tribute to Gary that he has been invited into one of the most intimate times of peoples' lives. Thank you Gary and all of our magnificent Agape volunteers. 

Grateful for you ~ Beth

*Not actual names

Time to Live

The news that treatment is no longer effective (or that an older person is in decline), can seem like the end of hope--or a big, fat fail. Thought of cure or extended time turn to questions like, "Why" "What if?" and "What now?"

Yet knowing time is limited also presents an opportunity: to step back, take a breather and take control. But how? 

Agape Hospice care starts with a question: "What's meaningful to you?" For starters, people want to feel better. Less anxious. Less nauseated. Less sick. They want to be thought of as individuals and not defined by their condition, treatment or symptoms.

They tell us they'd like to go fishing or camping, enjoy a Twinkie, or get their hands dirty in the garden. Patients say they'd like to write letters or memoirs. To paint. To tie up loose ends with relationships. They want to accomplish things. Most want meaningful time with friends and family.

Our physicians, nurses, CNAs, social workers, chaplains and volunteers form a team expressly dedicated to helping people feel well enough to accomplish what's important. Our team is really good at relieving a person's symptoms while helping him or her to be as alert as possible. Sometimes, when people's bodies aren't having to work so hard to compensate for pain, discomfort, sleeplessness or anxiety, their condition actually improves. With Agape, people also get practical, emotional and spiritual support according to what they want and need.

If possible, why wouldn't anyone make the last weeks or months of life as rich as any other time? People fear death, suffering and the unknown. That's natural. They should not fear hospice care.