A Magical Summer Camp: Kids Take a Vacation from Parents' Cancer

Agape Partners with Camp Kesem!

Children who have a parent living with cancer, or who have lost a parent to cancer,  typically bear their burdens alone. It can be tough for these kids to find understanding, especially with their peers. 

Camp Kesem was established as a place where these children can connect, find support and experience all the fun a week can hold. Kesem summer camps are free of change and run by highly trained college student leaders. The 2017 Kesem CU Boulder camp begins Sunday, June 25^th and runs for one week. 

Agape was introduced to Camp Kesem through Agape Palliative Nurse Practitioner Michael Dunkle. Michael (a.k.a. Yoda), has been with Camp Kesem since 2012, serving as nurse and consultant to the CU students running the show.

Michael says, “Our Kesem chapter has been talking about ways to expand our support base as our camp continues to grow. Agape’s heart for not only caring for people, but helping all community members through a patient’s illness or death, make them a natural partner for Kesem.” 

The team at Agape loves the idea that the children of the patients they’ve cared for could have a community like Kesem near home and without financial burden to the family. 

Kesem means “magic” in Hebrew.  Agape looks forward to supporting and helping Kesem share the magic with families in their care or others in the community whose children can benefit from this opportunity. 

For information or to refer a camper between the ages of 6-16, visit Camp Kesem Boulder or call Agape 720-482-1988. 

Happy Dove Day!

Every year on June 16, Agape Bereavement Manager Karrie Filios honors her mother by handing out Dove bars. She's been doing this every year for 12 years. 

When Karrie’s mom was living her last days, she wasn’t the typical hospice patient in terms of food. She ate up to the day before she died. That day, she enjoyed her last, and favorite, treat: a Dove Bar. The morning of her death, October 15, 2005, Karrie and her family raised their Dove Bars, eating them in tribute to her mom. They did so at her memorial service and have continued this tradition on her mom’s birthday ever since.

As our Bereavement Manager, Karrie knows all about loss, grief and the power of remembrance. How a  simple, tangible token (in this case, a rich, creamy treat perfect for a mid-June summer day), can stand as a sweet memorial.

Thanks, Karrie, for the call to remember and for including us in this delicious tradition every year. Happy Dove Day.   

An Amazing Sing

Agape’s partner group, Moon Over Mountains Threshold Choir (MOMTC), recently offered a bedside sing. Six choir members lifted their voices for our patient while her husband and daughter stood near. Although the patient was non-responsive, the family expressed appreciation for the visit. Then the choir sang “Amazing Grace.” With the sweet, familiar strains, the patient opened her eyes wide, perhaps even trying to sing along. 

This lovely patient died not long after the sing. In subsequent conversations, one of the themes that continued to emerge was how grateful this man was to have seen his wife’s eyes again. He asked that the choir sing “Amazing Grace” at her memorial. This was not possible, but the group agreed to record their rendition of the song on CD, along with a few other offerings. The family was touched.

We are so grateful to Tory, Dia, Danya, Kathy, Elizabeth and Kaelin for singing bedside – and to all who helped with the recording. As Kaelin wrote, “It is beyond precious to bring comfort to a patient and family during the 11^th hour.”

--Beth

Sunset Threshold Choir: Can You Sing?

Agape has a partnership with Moon Over Mountains (MOM) Threshold Choir in Boulder.  Over the past couple of years, they have provided their beautiful lyrical presence, song and tone at the bedside of many of our Boulder-area patients.  I am now THRILLED to announce the launch of a new threshold choir that will rehearse in Arvada and expand our bedside singing capability beyond Boulder.  

Kaelin Kelly, Agape volunteer and MOM threshold choir member, has been working to develop and lead Sunset Threshold Choir.  Kaelin is ready to hear from prospective choir members. Learn more and get in touch: Sunset Threshold Choir on Facebook.

This is such an amazing gift to offer our patients and families during their dying process and I am deeply grateful to Moon Over Mountains Threshold Choir for continuing their mission – as well as to Kaelin for her commitment to building Sunset Threshold Choir.  

I will keep you posted on when the choir will be ready to begin to offer their song in this expanded area.  

-Beth

Got Your Back

Consider hospice care: A team of providers steps into people’s lives at one of the most sensitive and complex times. Like other providers, they answer questions, educate and provide medical care and support. At Agape, there’s also an element of personal investment.

Agape’s vision has staff ensuring a “meaningful end-of-life journey” for those we serve. We take it to heart, and we are all in.

 

We've celebrated many significant Agape anniversaries: docs, nurses, CNAs, social workers, chaplains and support staff who have been with Agape anywhere from five to 12 years.

There are reasons. For many, hospice work is a calling. As a small, private provider, Agape feels more like family than a healthcare business. There’s another factor: team support.

Emails come across every day with words of help, encouragement and recognition of a job well done. There’s road and weather conditions (like RN Nici’s Denver traffic report or Director Kelly’s weather admonitions: Be safe. We need you.). The Agape team jumps in for one another, meeting pressing needs: “Don’t worry. I’ve got it.”

Hospice work is hard. It's also immeasurably rewarding. End-of-life care takes grit and an open heart. What helps is what we express to our patients and families: The journey is better with support by your side. 

"Match.com" Approach Enhances Patient-Volunteer Connection

When Volunteer Manager Beth Kelley tells people what she does for a living, they typically assume her work is sad, even dreadful. She's quick to say the opposite is true: Every day, she gets to witness people connecting at a sacred time in life. 

Beth came to Agape six years ago, after 20 years in corporate HR. She enjoyed her work but wanted to know at the end of each day that she was making a difference in people's lives. In her current role, she does HR for unpaid employees, her team of hospice volunteers.

Agape volunteers are a unique part of the care team. They don't show up with a blood pressure cuff or a list of diagnostic questions. Instead, volunteers are present with patients (and family) in ways that are most beneficial.

How do they know what people need? For one, Agape volunteers receive special training on end-of-life issues and how to be present and open with people in the last season. Beth also has engineered a method for connecting volunteers and patients using a "Match.com" model. She writes a profile for each patient, allowing volunteers to choose match-ups based on common interests or traits. These have included:

• Jazz
• Southern Roots
• Chocolate Ice Cream
• Schnauzers (and all kind of breeds!)
• Military Service
• Grandchildren 
• Love of music, poetry, art, travel and more. 

Beth calls her volunteers "extraordinary beings" because they knowingly sign up to form a relationship with people who likely won't be here in the next six or so months. And, knowing the loss will cause them sadness, they are willing to do it over and over again.

Self-Care: Not Self-ish

March is National Social Worker Month and an ideal time to connect with our inner social workers. (It's also a great time to give a social worker a hug, gift, or recognition for the stellar work they do to make our world a better place.)   

People in healthcare professions pour themselves out as they serve patients and family. No matter what our jobs, life has a way of asking us to show up  and bring it every day. One of our volunteers, Lee King, compiled a handout on the subject of self-care. It starts with the following quote:

Self-care is not selfish. You can't serve from an empty vessel. 

This month, we're focusing on some ways to care for ourselves. Some of us are already good at this. The rest of us will need some practice. Regardless, here's a good place to start:

Self-Care Tip #1: Acknowledge Yourself
Remember, it is not selfish to take care of yourself. Consider sitting on a plane before take-off. The flight attendant instructs anyone traveling with children to first put on his or her oxygen mask, and then the child's. We are better at caring for others when we are properly equipped.

You have wishes, dreams, hopes for each day. You also have needs and limits. Some people have been rolling on auto pilot for so long, they haven't listened to their inner social worker in years. In the spirit of the movie "Inside Out," wake up that inner social worker. While you're at it, give the dude (or lady) a name!

Take a pause, a few quiet minutes to be without thinking about anyone's expectations (including your own). Be aware of your breathing. Recognize how you're feeling in the moment. Think about what you may need: Is the way you're living honoring your physical, mental and emotional health?

Your thoughts and feelings are valid and worthy. So are you.

Note: Self-care isn't something you put on your to-do list. Nope, it starts right now.